AFL Preview: The AFL Bird And Cat Race

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Comrades of the world unite, it’s the opening match of Round 13 of this very very special 2017 AFL season, and we provide the AFL preview. But if you can’t be bothered reading further, feast your ears on The AFL Protected Zone Podcast. One of the best! (see our program notes).

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AFL Preview Game 1: West Coast v Geelong

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For those who love the idea of Grand Final rematches, then this is the big match for you. This is a rematch of the 1992 and 1994 Grand Finals, both won by West Coast. We like to think that there is a cumulative psychological effect that fact will have on this game.

Some people scoff at this, but if the match goes down to the wire and is lost by Geelong kicking a clanger that goes out on the full instead of through the goals with two seconds left on the clock, it be the residual effect of those lost Grand Finals of yesteryear.

Geelong have been sublime over their past three matches – defeating Western Bulldogs, Port Adelaide and then Adelaide. These are big scalps. West Coast, on the other hand, have been disappointing recently, spluttering after the loss of their focal point Josh Kennedy, losing to Essendon, Greater Western Sydney and Gold Coast.

It’s hard to know what’s happening at West Coast, but their best chance of winning a game against any team is always going to be at Subiaco Oval, their house of pain. We know that they don’t travel well, but they’re only traveling a few kilometres to get to Subiaco, and those nightmares of playing at the MCG are a distant memory. Until the next time the travel to Melbourne and play at the MCG.

Geelong love playing at Subiaco Oval – geometrically, it’s a similar shape to their home at Kardinia Park. Usually, we would choose Geelong as the winner here. They are third on the ladder, West Coast are ninth. Geelong have won three games in a row, West Coast have lost their last three.

But this is the perfect opportunity for season 2017 to show its true form. Just when you think you can predict the winner, something unusual happens. The planets align differently. A snowflake falls on the side of a mountain and causes an avalanche. Cow flatulence in Peru causes the wind to blow differently on the fields of Subiaco Oval. Or a Tom Hawkins jumper punch on the jaw of his opponent results in him being suspended and missing this game.

Just like Seinfeld’s George Costanza, it’s best to have ‘opposite days’ in 2017, and choose the team that is less likely to win. For this reason, we think West Coast will win. #AFLEaglesCats


  • Eddy Jay – West Coast, 10 points.
  • Lintang Enam – West Coast, 24 points.
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